For nine months, I tried to imagine how Hayden would make her way into the world. I came up with numerous scenarios, but of course it's never the way you think it's going to be; but being surprised is the best part of all.
Monday, June 4th started off like any other day. I had done a lot of resting (finally) that week and had spent the majority of the time watching The Tudors on DVD from start to (almost) finish. After Anne Boleyn lost her head, I made my way downstairs to bake some butter cupcakes with chocolate icing. I figured I better make them and eat some of them before I couldn't eat that kind of stuff anymore. I was in between batches around 7 pm (still waiting on Will to get home from work... he'd had a big day that day and then had worked late) when I went to the bathroom and my water broke. I was unsure at first because, heck, I've never had this happen before. It wasn't like you see in the movies. I called my long time friend Amber who is a labor and delivery nurse and told her what happened. She was so calm. She told me, "Well, your water broke. When Will gets home, ya'll go on up to the hospital. It'll be okay." I wasn't going to call Will and tell him and have him kill himself trying to get home; but he called me when he was close (so I could start dinner, yeah right) and I told him. He was calm also, which was good, because I had broken out into a sweat and my heart was pounding as I went around the house doing and gathering last minute things. We arrived at the hospital around eight o'clock and they immediately put me in a room and hooked me up to the monitors. My nurse Melissa did a test to make sure my water had actually broken because she wasn't very convinced since I was not dilated at all. That kinda scared me, because I really, really, really did not want a C-section, only because I wanted the full experience. I did not want to "fail to progress," as they say. Sure enough, she came back from the lab about half an hour later and said, "You're staying!" It was only then that we called our families to tell them that it was finally "time"! My brother came right away, which was very sweet since I told him that nothing was going to happen until morning-- they were going to induce me with Pitocin at 3:00 am. My mom and dad also arrived for a short time, and Will's mom had a long trek ahead of her from Midland, then on to North Dallas to pick up my sister in law Meagan, and then down to Houston. They drove through the night to get to our precious baby. About 11:00 pm we sent everyone home and I had started getting some contractions on my own. They were coming pretty good when they finally gave me the Pitocin, and boy did that kick it up a notch. I was in some pretty good pain and I'm not ashamed to say that I couldn't hang. You think you know what it's going to feel like, but multiply it by ten, or maybe twenty, who knows, and you might be scraping the surface. I only dropped one curse word on Will but I did it in a very pleasant tone, if I might add. That was when Melissa gave a good chuckle and said she thought it was time for my epidural. Um, yes, please. Bring it on. The epidural was no picnic, but I knew that any burning sensation or pain it gave me was better than what I was going through, and the Promised Land was on the other side. Sure enough, twenty minutes later, I was in much higher spirits. Thank the Lord for modern medicine. I'd gone through the night by this point and around 6:00 am my family showed up (to be followed by Will's mom and sister in a couple of hours.) At 7:00 when Melissa's shift was over and she was handing me over to my new nurse Tamara, she checked me and said I had dilated 2-3 centimeters, which was fine. At least I was moving along. Tamara said that on average, I should progress at 1 centimeter an hour, plus push time, and that Hayden should arrive somewhere between 2:00 and 4:00 that afternoon. It looked like it was going to be a long day ahead of us. After Will's family arrived and everyone visited, my brother decided to head to the gym and my dad was going to go to work for an hour (literally across the street from the hospital) and that they would be back. It seemed that we still had about a good ten hours to go until her arrival, so no big deal. It was around 8:30 am, just an hour and a half later, that there was a big dip in Hayden's monitoring; bigger than usual. It concerned Tamara a little and she said she wanted to put a scalp monitor on Hayden's head for more accurate monitoring. I am in full blown epidual mode by this point, and that was fine by me. As she started the procedure, suddenly her eyes went as wide as saucers. "Oh my God," she said. "You're at a nine!" She couldn't believe it. Everyone had left or had stepped out of the room for coffee or whatnot, so I was alone when she discovered this. "Looks like you're going to be following in your mom's footsteps," she said (since I was born in only three hours) "We gotta get ready; we'll be pushing soon." Holy moly! Will and my mom returned and I yelled out, "I'm a nine!" and suddenly everyone was a-flurry around me. Will immediately called my dad and brother to return to the hosptial; nurses were setting up shop, my mom was holding my hand. In a matter of minutes, Tamara said, "Whoever's in needs to get in, whoever's out needs to get out." My mom, dad, mother in law, and Will were in the room with me and before I knew it, things were under way.I had Will on my left leg and my mom on my right. My dad was to the left of my head; he was only there for the auditory version. He definitely did not want the visual version. Ha. Will's mom sat to my side for support. I knew the nurses had called my doctor, whose office is connected to the hospital. But I found out rather quickly that it's the nurses who do everything; my doctor didn't show up until last minute and she sat in the back while my nurse did all the work until it was time to literally catch Hayden. But I pushed for a good hour, which is a good time, I found out. But geez Louise, I was seeing fireworks behind my eyelids, I'm telling you. My mom said my face was beet red. I turned a little feral at the end; I was tired and pushing to the point of nausea. And epidural or not, I didn't feel too cheery. I was ready to get this baby OUT. But I didn't give up. Even when I thought I couldn't go anymore, I did. I just put everything out of my head and pushed, because I knew it was the only way I could get any relief. I knew Hayden was doing well, but she had a hard time getting past my pelvis. Once we rounded that corner, it became a tad easier. When I finally saw my doctor put on her hat and surgical coat, I knew I was close to the end, thank God. They kept telling me to keep going, you're doing good, don't stop, and finally I yelled out, "I CAN'T!" and everyone said "Yes, you can!" That was when I just put every ounce of energy in every fiber of my being into it; and finally, at 11:10 am on June 5th, Hayden was born. She let out a huge wail right away and they immediately put her to my chest. I was crying, everyone was crying. She was crying. They gave the scissors to Will and he cut her cord, then they took her away for clean up, weighing and all that good stuff while they finished up with me. When they brought her back to me clean and swaddled and placed her in my arms, my whole world disappeared. I was wailing, and Will was holding us both, crying. She was so calm and alert, though. She was just looking at me like she knew me. That was all I could think; she's looking at me like she knows exactly who I am. I thought she was the most beautiful and perfect thing I had ever seen. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I'm a little in awe that's finally over with. Sometimes I thought she'd never get here; now it seems like it was no time at all. We are so incredibly blessed, and all I can do is thank Jesus everyday for the greatest gift He has ever given to me; that I have a healthy and happy baby that I love with my whole heart, soul, and being. I've waited my entire life for this moment. Every heartache it took to get here was worth it. The Lukers are finally, finally, finally a family of three. We are overjoyed!
