Hayden's First Outing

The doctor told me to keep Hayden out of public for a month and I did not wait a day longer. Okay, actually I did because we had company yesterday (and we were recovering from our growth spurt blues) but today after her morning doctor's appointment, baby and I had plans! Big plans! We were heading to Macy's! New shoes for mommy? Nope. Perfume, purse, pashmina? Nope. We were after some tank tops for nursing and some fabulous lounging pants that I wanted in a smaller size (now that I was no longer pregnant. I freaking love these pants.) But, of course, our first stop was Sonic to fuel up with some tea and we were on our way! Stroller? Check. Diaper bag? Check. We hopped out of the truck and started heading inside. She got a little fussy at the door, then the cool air came rushing through and suddenly there were all kinds of lights and sounds. Hmmmm, the look on her face said. What's all this? There's more than Mommy and Daddy and Sasha and friends? We jumped onto the escalator and headed up to the second floor. We had no sooner gotten off the escalator and walked about thirty feet when I could see it coming. I could see it from a mile away. The eyebrows furrowed. The chin dimpled. The lips down turned. Her face turned red. She opened her mouth and let out a wail. Ohhhhh no. I am now that person with the crying baby. The person that annoyed me just a couple short months ago. We make our way to our section. I'm talking, cooing, rocking the stroller. Looking for the tops. Looking for the pants. Tops were slim pickin's; I found the pants. Hayden is now in full blown freak out mode. I take her out of the stroller and drag it to the dressing room while I carry her. "Oh, how old is your baby?" a lady asks as I struggle by. "A month," I reply as I sense her judgement. "It's our first outing." I don't even look back. Piss off lady, I think. Her doctor said a month, and I've been sitting on my couch for a month! We get to the dressing room. At least it's a private place I can stick my boob in her mouth. For whatever stupid reason, the handicapped dressing room is locked. Great. I somehow manage to get this big ass stroller and all our crap into the smaller room. At least it has a built in seat. We sit. She cries. I nurse. She's happy. We rock. She sleeps. I put her back into her carrier. WAHHHHH!!!!!!!! Rinse and repeat. Twice. Finally I decided, to hell with it, we need to get out of here, screaming or not. I struggle out of the cubicle of a dressing room with the stroller and our stuff with one hand. We go to the cashier. But of course! There are five people in front of us, all with an armload of crap! Let me stand here for twenty minutes with my twenty pound purse on one shoulder and a ten pound baby on the other while ya'll chatter and cajole and hahahhahaha. I've had men suggest I go ahead of them in Stop N' Go with only a gallon of milk, but God forbid these ladies think to be so considerate. I had one item. ONE. I think my back is going to break before the old ass lady is done taking her sweet ass time at the register. Finally, we make it. Hayden is asleep. We gotta take the elevator down. Escalator up is one thing, down is another. I have to put her back in her stroller. Thankfully, she goes in with little fanfare. I push the elevator button, thankful she's still sleeping, when... DING! DING! DING! For cripe's sake! The elevator ding might as well have been a damn church bell! Hayden threw up her hands in her startled "Hallelujah!" style and if she totally woke up it was going to be the end of going to the maternity store for nursing tops. I breathed a sigh of relief as we hit the first floor and she was asleep again. Now to high tail it to the other side of the mall. I felt like I was on WipeOut!, dodging all the obstacles and trying to make it to the other side; the other side being back in my vehicle. We wheel into the mall and I have never realized just how LOUD that place is! The horrible instrumental music they play seemed like it was on full blast. Turn it down a notch, DJ Baybrook! People were talking, eating, breathing way too loudly for my comfort level. Hayden is very good with noises; she loves the vacuum, and is fine sleeping with the television on and the doorbell doesn't bother her, but I was paranoid as all get out since the dressing room incident. People are so rude at the mall. They either walk as slow as elephants or don't bother to so much as move an inch for you. This is if they are even paying any kind of attention and not plowing right into you. I've never driven as defensively as I wheeled that stroller. The Motherhood store seemed miles away. Was the mall so BIG last time I was here?! And don't get me started on the idiot kiosk people. Do I look like I want to stop to try your mineral make up or curling iron?! I usually act like I'm on the phone, but I can't do that and wheel a stroller. So the AT&T people need to back up and give me fifty feet, too. We finally made it and thank the Lord, she was still asleep. We actually made it out of the mall and back to our truck without incident. Whew. I had to blow the bangs out of my eyes and turn on the a/c full blast. I was sweating. Before I knew it, we were back at Sonic. Give me my large tea, dude. I'm parched. Take a baby to the mall and you deserve a nice cold drink. I had plans for Target, but that seemed a little ambitious after all that. We'll save that for Mommy's "vacation" after Daddy gets home. 

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