There is a quote from the movie "Pretty Woman" where the character Kit says, "Oh God.... the pressure of name...." and a couple of months ago, I could totally relate. Naming your kid is not easy. There wasn't a name that I had saved my whole life for my children. I had names picked out back then, but either my tastes changed or someone else stole it. That's what happens when you wait so long to have kids. Everyone steals your names. Even your own family members. But, I learned with every stolen name to be less and less disappointed. And, if I really liked it, then who cares. There's always going to be someone out there with your kid's name.... unless you name your kid Apple, or Pilot Inspektor, or Kal-El. (Those are real celebrity children names, by the way.... Gwyneth Paltrow, Jason Lee, and Nicholas Cage, respectfully.) As I had mentioned a few blogs ago, I was certain, CERTAIN, this child was a boy. I had a name chosen (which I will keep to myself, hehe), and Will had chosen Hayden. We were in a hot debate. I had always LOVED Hayden, since Craig T Nelson was Coach, but I had seen another name that was really different, and I was stuck on it already. Will, however, was bound and determined to have a Hayden. And my name and Hayden didn't mesh, as first and middle names together. It was going to be one or the other. Dr. Rowe, however, solved our problem a few weeks later when he revealed, to my great surprise, that this baby was going to be a GIRL. "A girl?!"I thought. I was delighted, but feeling a little unprepared, because until this point I had been planning boy, boy, boy. Back to the drawing board! We mulled over names for weeks. It's hard being a teacher, because every name reminds you of that child. Usually the child you don't want to be reminded of. After years of teaching, I'd crossed out about every name I ever liked that hadn't been stolen. Will was very particular. Sometimes he didn't have a reason, he just didn't like a name. We had one criteria-- we wanted a name that was familiar (and not too out of the ordinary), but also a little different. It seems like that would be hard criteria to fill, and admittedly, it wasn't easy. But we had decided that it would be an older name, or a name that is no longer popular or not used often. We had girl's name picked out for many years, a beautiful name (which I will also keep to myself!Ha.) But when it came down to it, I was a little..... bleh. We'd said it and thought of it for so long, I was kind of.... over it. So we were starting anew. Natalie? I asked him. No. Bridget? Eh.... maybe. Josie?Not really. Joy? No. Casey? (One I had always really liked, for a boy or girl), and though it was a top candidate, the whole Casey Anthony thing ruined it a little. I thumbed through a book of 10,000 names. Not one of them struck me. I was beginning to feel like she'd never have a name. I told myself that I just had to have faith that her name would come to me in God's time, whenever He revealed her name to me. And one day, it just came. A name that we had already both liked and decided on; it had been there all along. Hayden! It was perfect for our criteria. A familiar name, nothing that anyone could make fun of; but different, because though it was a name meant for boys or girls, it was typically a boy's name, thus far. (My name was also a boy's name during the 1970s when I had been born, and we all know how that turned out. The 80s destroyed that facade!) Though many little girls are named Hayden, not any that we know. I can see where this name may drift towards being a more feminine name in the future, but maybe we'll have one of the first. So Hayden it was. We loved it. Will always had the playground litmus test-- how could other children twist their name to make fun of them? My litmus test was-- how will it look embroidered on the back of her cheerleading uniform? We also liked that as an adult, when her resume comes across someone's desk, they will most likely assume she's a man. It will likely save her some discrimination, and possibly give her opportunities she wouldn't have otherwise. This name satisfied us both across the board. It was chosen. Baby Girl Hayden. Her full name will be: Hayden Elise Luker. Elise kept coming back to me, over and over. I thought of several middle names, but Elise was relentless coming back to me. When my mom said one day, "I like Hayden Elise," and I had not told her yet at all that Elise was all I could think about, I knew. This was destined to be her name. And so it is. Two names I never imagined I would give my daughter. But there they are. And that's what it will be. I don't know why I waited so long to put it out there. For a long time, I wouldn't call her by name, I was afraid we would wear it out, like we did the other name. Then, one day, we just started saying it; calling her by her name. So.... strange. But we love it. And we love her. She will be a perfect Hayden, as beautiful as her name.♥
No comments:
Post a Comment