Baby Girl's Name Is...

There is a quote from the movie "Pretty Woman" where the character Kit says, "Oh God.... the pressure of name...." and a couple of months ago, I could totally relate. Naming your kid is not easy. There wasn't a name that I had saved my whole life for my children. I had names picked out back then, but either my tastes changed or someone else stole it. That's what happens when you wait so long to have kids. Everyone steals your names. Even your own family members. But, I learned with every stolen name to be less and less disappointed. And, if I really liked it, then who cares. There's always going to be someone out there with your kid's name.... unless you name your kid Apple, or Pilot Inspektor, or Kal-El. (Those are real celebrity children names, by the way.... Gwyneth Paltrow, Jason Lee, and Nicholas Cage, respectfully.) As I had mentioned a few blogs ago, I was certain, CERTAIN, this child was a boy. I had a name chosen (which I will keep to myself, hehe), and Will had chosen Hayden. We were in a hot debate. I had always LOVED Hayden, since Craig T Nelson was Coach, but I had seen another name that was really different, and I was stuck on it already. Will, however, was bound and determined to have a Hayden. And my name and Hayden didn't mesh, as first and middle names together. It was going to be one or the other. Dr. Rowe, however, solved our problem a few weeks later when he revealed, to my great surprise, that this baby was going to be a GIRL. "A girl?!"I thought. I was delighted, but feeling a little unprepared, because until this point I had been planning boy, boy, boy. Back to the drawing board! We mulled over names for weeks. It's hard being a teacher, because every name reminds you of that child. Usually the child you don't want to be reminded of. After years of teaching, I'd crossed out about every name I ever liked that hadn't been stolen. Will was very particular. Sometimes he didn't have a reason, he just didn't like a name. We had one criteria-- we wanted a name that was familiar (and not too out of the ordinary), but also a little different. It seems like that would be hard criteria to fill, and admittedly, it wasn't easy. But we had decided that it would be an older name, or a name that is no longer popular or not used often. We had girl's name picked out for many years, a beautiful name (which I will also keep to myself!Ha.) But when it came down to it, I was a little..... bleh. We'd said it and thought of it for so long, I was kind of.... over it. So we were starting anew. Natalie? I asked him. No. Bridget? Eh.... maybe. Josie?Not really. Joy? No. Casey? (One I had always really liked, for a boy or girl), and though it was a top candidate, the whole Casey Anthony thing ruined it a little. I thumbed through a book of 10,000 names. Not one of them struck me. I was beginning to feel like she'd never have a name. I told myself that I just had to have faith that her name would come to me in God's time, whenever He revealed her name to me. And one day, it just came. A name that we had already both liked and decided on; it had been there all along. Hayden! It was perfect for our criteria. A familiar name, nothing that anyone could make fun of; but different, because though it was a name meant for boys or girls, it was typically a boy's name, thus far. (My name was also a boy's name during the 1970s when I had been born, and we all know how that turned out. The 80s destroyed that facade!) Though many little girls are named Hayden, not any that we know. I can see where this name may drift towards being a more feminine name in the future, but maybe we'll have one of the first. So Hayden it was. We loved it. Will always had the playground litmus test-- how could other children twist their name to make fun of them? My litmus test was-- how will it look embroidered on the back of her cheerleading uniform? We also liked that as an adult, when her resume comes across someone's desk, they will most likely assume she's a man. It will likely save her some discrimination, and possibly give her opportunities she wouldn't have otherwise. This name satisfied us both across the board. It was chosen. Baby Girl Hayden. Her full name will be: Hayden Elise Luker. Elise kept coming back to me, over and over. I thought of several middle names, but Elise was relentless coming back to me. When my mom said one day, "I like Hayden Elise," and I had not told her yet at all that Elise was all I could think about, I knew. This was destined to be her name. And so it is. Two names I never imagined I would give my daughter. But there they are. And that's what it will be. I don't know why I waited so long to put it out there. For a long time, I wouldn't call her by name, I was afraid we would wear it out, like we did the other name. Then, one day, we just started saying it; calling her by her name. So.... strange. But we love it. And we love her. She will be a perfect Hayden, as beautiful as her name.♥

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Good Will Hunting

When I was a little girl, I always prayed for my husband. I hoped that wherever he was out there, that he was happy and that God was taking care of him. Sometimes I would look up at the stars, and wonder about him. Was he looking at the same stars? Where was he? WHO was he? What was he doing at that moment that I was wondering about him?
I always thought I would get married when I was young and be a young mom. I suppose I thought that because that's what my mom did. (She always reminds me that it was "different back then.") It did not happen that way for me. God had a different plan. It came with some stumbles and many (I hate to say a lot of) tears. I had a hardship destined for me to experience that not many people my age experience. Ever. I had to take some steps back and start over. I had to start my search over again. Not only for my husband, but now for myself. Who was I? Where was I going? What did I want in this life? And how was I going to get there? Luckily, I had a strong, strong family to help me. I had parents who loved me immensely (and each other-- that always helps), and a brother that would fight for me when I was too tired to fight for myself. He would defend me against all the lions, tigers, and bears in the world if he had to. I had a safe shelter to grow again. I found wonderful, true friends during this time in my life. Ironically, it was a group of boys (and Erin) that had been best friends since junior high. In fact, I'd known them since junior high, but had never really gotten to know them. God brought them into my life when I needed true friends more than any other time in my life. They also took me under their wings and protected me. They helped make me feel whole again. They made me feel wanted and accepted, which I really needed. I'm happy to say that all these boys are STILL good friends, and some of my best friends, and their wives are, too. I'm happy that their children will be playmates with my children. God blessed me with what I needed right when I needed it. He has a funny way of doing that. But still-- where was my husband?? I was looking everywhere now and he was nowhere. Nowhere! I was begininning to wonder if I would EVER find him. A relationship would begin; it would end. Begin. End. Begin. End. Each ending was accompanied by more tears. That heartbreak, it's a real tearjerker. Heartbreak is..... well, heartbreaking. It's a physical pain. I think that surprises some when they experience it for the first time. It physically hurts. Like a limb has been torn from your body. You can feel your heart aching right there in the middle of your chest. Some of those heartbreaks were real whoppers. It's disappointing to be so sure of someone, and then find out that they weren't who you thought at all. And everything changes. I don't do change that well. But it was in the "meantime" of those relationships that I may have been at my best. That's when I traveled, to Europe, to Mexico, to Las Vegas, to New York, California. I met new people, made friends, had adventures. Though it was still a little painful, those were the most exciting times of my life! I was experiencing things that I may not have experienced otherwise. But somewhere, deep in my heart, I was still longing for my husband. My ray of hope was dimming a little. I was quickly approaching thirty. By the time my mom was thirty, she had a ten year-old me. I remember my mom crying and fretting to her best friend when she turned thirty. I remember sitting in her friend's bedroom circa 1988 (mirrors and everything) and my mom exclaiming that she was THIRTY, what now?! I wasn't going to have anyone to remember something like that about me. I was still alone. Well. You know that cliche, it's going to happen when you least expect it? Well, of course it did. When I met Will (through one of those wonderful guy friends that was brought into my life so many years before.... ironically, he is also named Ashley), I had hot pink and silver glitter spray painted into my pigtails. (This was not a normal style for me, but I had been running the "hair salon" at my elementary school's carnival earlier.) Will did not really know what to make of me (he actually thought I was a stripper.... yes, stripper! The hair threw him a little bit. I guess the College Park Elementary t-shirt was a non-issue for him.) What a jerk! I thought. Maybe a cute jerk, but still a jerk! Of course I made every effort to harass him. All. Night. Long. He had red hair, for crying out loud. Sometime during the wee hours of the night (or morning), I must have greatly impressed him with my fantastic Guitar Hero skills. I WAS jamming, if I do say so myself. At that time, I was a Guitar Hero legend. I had flying fingers. But I say he must of been impressed, because he text me from the airport the next day (oh yeah..... he lived in Midland. He was only in town for the weekend. Anything coming of this was close to nil, so I was trying to be nonchalant. As Ashley's wife Amy put it, "he's geographically unavailable.") But he text me and said he'd never really met anyone like me. Aw. That Monday morning, I thought, that was so nice, I'm going to tell him to have a great week. So I did, and his reply was that he had woke up missing me, and that he hadn't felt that in a long time. Well. That pretty much did me in. We started talking and texting every day, for hours. I stopped seeing and talking to anyone that I had been casually seeing or talking to. It was just Will. Two weeks later, he flew back into town again, but this time to visit ME. That was it. We were official. I had conquered the geographically unavailable jerk. And I LIKED him. Because he wasn't really a jerk. He was the nicest any boy had ever been to me. He says he was a jerk because he didn't want to like me, it was his defense against all my charms and joie de vivre. A year to the day after we met, he surprised me with a trip to Boston. And in the rain in a courtyard between the Boston Public Library and the Trinity Church (one of the oldest in America) he asked me to marry him. I had found my husband. Finally, he had been found! We got married ten months later in the biggest and most beautiful wedding I could ever ask for, in front of 300 family and friends, in the most beautiful historic church in Houston with a long marble aisle and a grand organ; and partied like rock stars at the Rice Hotel, in the same ballroom with the balcony that John F. Kennedy gave the last speech of his life.  And now, two years later, we are expecting the arrival of our little girl, and I couldn't imagine anyone who is going to be a better dad. Will is already the best husband I could ever ask for. Before he came, I had always been what I call the "gardener." I had gardened, and tilled, and pulled weeds, and did everything I could to make every relationship before him look pretty. It always wilted in the end, and there were times I didn't understand why. With Will, I get to finally be the flower. Of course we both work on our relationship, but everyday he makes me feel loved, appreciated, wanted, respected. He makes me laugh until I'm literally crying daily. Even if we argue, at the end, we're laughing. He lets me know that he thinks of me all day. He does things for me that I could or would never ask of anyone else, and I tell him everything. He is my very best friend. I'm so grateful and thankful everyday for God bringing him to me, for saving him just for me. Now, all the heartbreaks make sense. Now, all the tears were worth it. All the years I spent living life for myself were well spent, because I will never regret not having an experience I feel like I missed out on. I spent nearly a decade trying to figure out what life was all about, but in the end, it just fell into my lap just like it was supposed to; gift wrapped and pretty for me to open and enjoy. I suppose that's what faith is about-- having faith that God has you on this path for a reason, regardless of the hardships; and that in the end, it's going to be better than you ever imagined. It always works out. Now I have all the answers to my questions-- I know just who my husband is. And when I was a little girl, wondering where he was; now I know-- Denver, Colorado! I never thought I'd marry anyone from Denver, anyone with red hair, or anyone named Willie for that matter. But I did. And I wouldn't change it for anything.
I love you, Willie. ♥

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We're Painting the Roses Red.... Or The Walls Pink!

Speaking of painting the roses red, I am on a mission now to buy Baby Girl all the Disney movies on DVD. As you are well aware, they aren't the cheapest things out there. It's really irritating because I have them all on VHS, which is, of course, obsolete. So we are now buying them all in Blu-Ray. For the love of God, I hope they don't update DVD technology anytime soon! Ah, well, onto the purpose of this blog today....
The nursery walls are painted! I can hardly believe it! It's becoming more real by the day. Will took just a couple of hours to knock it out, and he did a fantastic job! He taped all the edges so nicely, too; I was really impressed. That is super important when you are painting for someone who is as OCD as I am. (I'm not really OCD, but I may as well be; my perfectionist side can get a little out of control sometimes, I'll admit.) But it is really lovely! The pink isn't too light or dark or bright, it is JUST RIGHT! I am so pleased with it, I now want to paint every room in my house. Hmm. We'll see. I wish I would've painted years ago; it makes such a difference. Anyway, the room is perfect and is ready for new carpet and then the furniture. The countdown is on in a major way, but we are right on top of it! Everything's going according to schedule so far. Here's a few pics of Will on his first Daddy duty task:

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Game Night: The Ultimate Meeting of the Minds

My friends and I have had a revival of a pastime we used to enjoy all the time-- Game Night. Now it's ten times better because we have our spouses to join in on the fun. We've pledged to do Game Night once a month, and last Friday night was our second round of play. Every time, it proves to begin as amusing entertainment, but it quickly escalates to cut-throat competition of boys vs. girls. Take no prisoners and show no mercy. Man vs wife, spouse vs spouse, husband vs his worst nightmare. Our game of choice is Taboo. If you've never played, you basically have a card with a word at the top for your teammates to guess. You lead them to the answer with clues. However, the tricky part is, there is a list of five clue words that you are not allowed to use. The sand timer is quickly running out, your partner has the buzzer (which has been used as an intimidation tactic by the other team with what we call "excessive buzzing"... they use the buzzer when you've said a clue word on accident or when time runs out), and the heat is on. You feel like you are in a pressure cooker. Beads of sweat form at your hairline and upper lip as everyone looks at your expectantly-- your team waiting on your phenomenal clue words, and the other team (ahem, boys) waiting for you to screw it all up. I have to admit that the pressure is what makes it fun for me. I love to shout out clue words and watch the boys crumble in misery at my awesomeness. I made a career out of reading and processing quickly. Taboo is my game. Everyone seems to have a different strategy. A lot of times, I use personal experience to get someone to guess a clue. I don't have to worry about the clue words too much that way. It only works about 85% of the time though. My friend Shlee (Ashley.... but he's Shlee and I'm Ash to keep away confusion) is what I call a Taboo Two Stepper. He breaks down compound words and gets you to guess the first part of the word, then the second part of the word, and then wants you to put it together. Sometimes, people just stare at the card and curse, because they don't know what to say. Or, we all have a good laugh because they give some clue that is so out of the ordinary or beyond what is right that we have to stop the timer because we are laughing so hard. Now, I am always proud of Will, and he is really good at Taboo for being a newcomer; but he provoked such an instance last week when he was trying to lure his team to the word "pyramid" by shouting out that "they were built by the Jews!" OhmiGod.... what?! Allie, Amy, and I were laughing so hard we couldn't see straight. This was directly after he had the word "divorcee" and he thought it was "divorce" and he tried to move on and I wouldn't let him. Mind you, this is after about 3 hours of steady imbibing of alcohol, so he does have that on his side, but it was hilarious. Not to mention the absolute look of horror on his face when he drew the word "chalet," because he had no clue what the heck it was, or how the heck to say it. He looked at me with pleading eyes until I laughed and whispered it in his ear. He chose to pass on that one and take the loss. Just thinking of the look on his face cracked me up for days afterward. It even gives me a chuckle as I write this! The best of the best was when Kristi had "pothole." She told us, "Shut your...." allowing us to fill in the blank. I shouted out "PIEHOLE!," joking really, because I would never believe that Taboo would use the word "piehole" (though pornography WAS a word last week.... really?) She moves on to the next card, and her husband (armed with the buzzer) was like, "No, no, that wasn't it, go back, go back," she argued for a moment until he said, "It does NOT say PIEHOLE!" She replied, "Piehole? What the heck is that? It's 'pothole;' Ashley said, 'shut your pothole!'" Uh... no. I didn't. When we explained this to her, she went about as red as cherry, saying "Oh my God! I've been telling people to shut their POTHOLE for years!" Wow. Hahahah. WOW. I don't think she'll live that one down. I told her to shut her pothole a few days ago. Luckily, she was amused. It will now forever be an inside joke. Our friend Tommy is pretty good too. He always wants to win at everything (who doesn't?). I think by the end of our four hour Taboo session he had just about had it with me and my steady average of seven cards a hand. He was slumped over in his chair and I think he was fighting the urge to roll his eyes at me during my last turn. Hahaha. He said the next day on Facebook that it wasn't fair, 4 against 3, because I was playing with two brains and was the Taboo Queen. I took it as a compliment though. Tommy is very competitive and that really is what makes Game Night fun. It's never fun to lose, but it always makes me want to do better next time. He's beating me pretty good at Words with Friends this week, so that is probably making up for it. Either way, win or lose, it's always fun to get together with friends and have a good time without being in a smoky bar somewhere. We rotate the couple who is hosting, and we always go out to eat beforehand. Then we congregate at their home for some good old fashioned mental rough housing. Most of us are rapidly approaching our mid-thirties and the bars are becoming a place more for birthdays and celebrations of some kind, instead of an every Friday and Saturday night gig. You can be a grown up and have fun too! Who would've thought?

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Dr. Hassan to the Rescue

I'm back from the doctor! I wanted to give everyone an update before the hubbs gets home and the Valentine's Day celebration begins.
First and foremost-- he assures me the baby is FINE! My levels were not drastic enough to affect the baby, and he assured me that testing my thyroid levels is standard care and have been tested since the beginning of my pregnancy. Whew! Thank you for listening to my prayers and protecting my little baby, Jesus! I've been rapt with worry.
Second, he did put me on a synthroid (a medicine for low thyroid function.) When I asked if this was gestational or for the rest of my life, he said probably the rest of my life. Even though my tests from two years ago came back borderline normal, my thyroid is fluctuating. He says this is why I've gained some weight in my pregnancy AND pre-pregnancy. Now, I have not exploded a lá Violent Beauregarde from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. However, I have put on a few more 

pounds than I would have liked thus far. The scale is not a pregnant woman's friend, even if you started out a skinny-Minnie; so in my case-- this contraption is my worst enemy. If you are close to me, then you know that I lost a significant amount of weight before I got pregnant-- around 30 pounds, and I was pretty darn close to my goal weight AND a single digit pants size, which was huge for me. But it took an extreme amount of dieting and exercise for me to get there. I am no stranger to the gym-- I LOVE the gym. I go often. But I had a trainer for a year 3x a week before my wedding-- and I didn't lose any weight. I gained 16 pounds of muscle and lost some inches, but my weight never changed. Of course, some of that fat had to be replaced with muscle, which is great-- but I wanted a lower number. Now I know the deal-- my thyroid is being an asshole. So that's it-- baby is quite okay and I am on a lifetime medicine that could quite possibly (and hopefully) change my life. I refuse to get hung up on the "Oh my God, EVERY DAY for the REST OF MY LIFE???" attitude. I take Juice Plus, I take vitamins... I'll just add in my medicine, too. Five seconds of my day isn't going to hurt me..... if anything, it'll HELP me. So that is that. All my thanks to my friends who supported me and said a prayer for me, to Dr. Hassan for being an awesome doctor and great family friend, and praise Jesus for all His blessings that He sends my way. I am appreciative of all of you.

SECOND, in my anxiety, I forgot to tell everyone.....

Will is coming home from work a tad early today and we are going to get busy in the kitchen. Not THAT kind of busy-- get your head out of the gutter! (That's how we got in our current predicament! Haha!) But we ARE going to get busy making a homemade pizza. I usually do all the cooking, and he grills when we need grilling, but this is something that we do together. We just started doing it not that long ago, and we always have a good laugh and a lot of fun. We thought being together and working on a project together would be much better than beating the crowds at the restaurants. Best part of all, we get to EAT that project when we're done. :) Then, we ARE going to brave the movie theater to see "The Vow."

I bought our tickets yesterday, so we just have to make sure we get there in time to get a good seat. This, I know, he is doing only out of love for me-- he is NOT excited about this AT ALL, but he is plastering on a smile for my sake. I love Rachel McAdams (even if he thinks I want to go to see Channing Tatum-- not true. Well, maybe a little bit after that last Saturday Night Live performance-- yowza!) And, the story is just up my alley. My parents saw it last week and said "it was okay.... go ahead and see it. But it's not The Notebook." But, you have to admit, living up to The Notebook is a pretty phenomenal feat. That is one of the best movies of all time (in my opinion.... and I know you don't disagree!) So, you'll get a review on that later. I may not be Ebert, but I am Ashley... and I'll let you know if I give it a two thumbs up. My day is looking up-- I hope all of you have a fantastic V-Day with friends and loved ones. I love you all dearly and hold you close to my heart! Muah!♥

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Google Causes Pregnancy Crisis-- A True Story

Last Friday, my doctor scared the bejesus out of me. Or, I scared the bejesus out of myself. Really-- let's just blame it on Google. Will and I went in for a routine appointment two weeks ago. My doctor informed me that my blood test from the month before came back showing my thyroid was producing a lower amount of hormone than normal; they were going to retest me and if it was low again she wanted me to see an endocrinologist and get on meds. This was not news to me, as I've known this was a possibility for a couple of years. However, last time I saw my endocrinologist and after several blood tests to compare, he opted not to put me on medicine because I was on the lower side of normal, but still in the normal range. Once you begin medicine for your thyroid, it's usually for the rest of your life, which is why he was hesitant to put me on them if I was still "normal." Back to the appointment. They are going to do a retest at the obstetrician's office, but "really, it's nothing to worry about." So they redrew my blood and I went on my merry way. Last Friday, a week later, they call me to tell me that again, my thyroid was low; I should make an appointment with my endocrinologist to discuss my options. Sure, no problem, right away. Well, last Friday night as I'm googling "low thyroid causes, symptoms, and treatment," I see a side effect: "Hypothyroidism could be harmful to your baby if pregnant." WHOA, WHAT?! This was the first I'd heard of this! My googling amped up into high gear at this point; I was googling faster than I'd ever googled before. What happened next was the exact reason  that we are told "do not diagnose yourself on the internet," and "don't rely on the internet for medical information," etc. And that exact reason is that IT SCARES THE CRAP OUT OF YOU. Apparently, my thyroid functioning properly directly affects my baby's brain development. YES, BRAIN DEVELOPMENT. See why I was freaking out??? I was FREAKING OUT. After going to several sites, and reading the same thing over and over, I finally turned to the most trusted source for all expectant moms: What To Expect If You're Expecting. There I found out finally that it is only imperative in the first trimester, before the baby is making its own hormones, which alleviated some concern, but also opened a whole other can of worms for me: DID THEY WAIT THIS LONG TO TEST MY THYROID??? I am just a couple of weeks away from my THIRD trimester! The upside was that by now, the baby is making its own thyroid hormones and doesn't need mine anymore. But still-- "Is the damage already done?!" I thought. I am in the middle of a pregnancy crisis. Will is next to me watching TV, telling me, "She's fine, stop googling everything!", my parents were preparing for a weekend out of town for their anniversary and I didn't want to bother them or scare the crap out of them too and ruin their weekend, so I was at a loss there. Thankfully, I had a bunch of mommy friends to turn to on a Facebook page my friend started for moms. So I posted there, and one of the moms is a doctor. She told me that if it was drastic, they wouldn't have waited so long to retest me, that I should just make an appointment and get in as soon as possible, and she reassured me that my obstetrician had been testing my thyroid level since the beginning, which made me feel much better. My best friend Jennie (mommy I trust the most and turn to for everything, besides my own, of course) and my friend Heather (who is a nurse and a new mommy) all reassured me of the same. This was enough to get me through the weekend and I'm leaving in about half an hour to see my endocrinologist. I picked up my lab results from the obstetrician this morning so that Dr. Hassan (my endocrinologist) can make a plan for baby and me. I will update his findings and his decision afterwards. Here's hoping the best for baby and I! Say a little prayer for us.

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Dave Ramsey is The Man

I am so very blessed and feel so fortunate that I am going to be a stay-at-home mommy. I am really looking forward to waking up to my sweet angel everyday and being able to devote all my time and attention to her. My mom stayed at home with my brother and I for nearly the first decade of my life, so I know how invaluable it can be. I LOVED being at home with my mom. She was able to volunteer at my school, go on field trips, come eat lunch with me, and do the special things that staying at home allows time for. Knowing how special this time is, I'm glad I will be able to stay at home and enjoy it. However, Will and I are not ignorant about how this could affect our lifestyle. We know that babies are costly, as is living in these economic times. Staying at home may call for some sacrifices (see ya, Starbucks), but we feel that those sacrifices are worth having a parent at home with our child. Daycare was not an option we cared for (though understandably necessary for others.) We just came to the decision that this is what would be best for our family. Enter Dave Ramsey. I'm sure many, many of you have heard of Dave Ramsey before-- he is nationally renowned for his financial prowess. He is the finance guru for those who want to "live like no one else." He is an author, radio host, television personality, and motivational speaker about all things finance. Dave knows what he's talking about-- he was a millionaire by 26 through real estate brokering, and then bankrupt by 36 as the Tax Reform Act of 1986 put real estate in a nosedive. After turning to Christian financial expert Larry Burkett, Dave soon found himself out of debt and taking on a new career. Dave Ramsey is now a Christian based financial expert, also. Larry Burkett's death caused the torch to pass to Dave and he hasn't looked back since; helping people all over America to get out of debt, budget their finances, plan for their retirement and children's college funds, investments, and more. Dave's classes are called Financial Peace University, and can be found at just about any local church nationwide. Will and I thought signing up for this course would be a good idea, so we signed up for the thirteen week class at our church and we are now 3 weeks in. People told us that we wouldn't regret it, and we haven't had a complaint since. Dave Ramsey's classes cost $100 for your WHOLE FAMILY to take the class. The $100 is actually for your kit-- a workbook, Dave's latest book, CDs of each class, a leatherbound "envelope system" pocketbook, and more. It's only one kit per family; and the best part is-- you are now a lifetime member. If years down the line, you feel like you need a refresher course-- you can take the whole class over again free of charge. They also have an online system to help track your finances, watch Dave in his videos, etc. Now that I'm finished touting Dave Ramsey, I just have to say-- I think this will be one of our best moves in our marriage, EVER. Dave tells us (and we all know) that money is THE biggest cause of divorce in America. Since Will and I have gone down to just one paycheck, we haven't been immune to the occassional argument. I can see where this becomes a problem for some people and marriages. I was once a "free spirit" (as Dave calls them) and bought what I wanted, when I wanted, and didn't worry about it. I have never experienced the term "buyer's remorse." My husband is also a "free spirit." Since the upcoming arrival of the baby, I have become what Dave calls a "nerd." I threw all my bad spending habits to the wind and put our bank account on lockdown. I feverishly began paying off all our credit card debt (it's nearly paid off, too-- 2 payments to go and we are debt free!) This did not amuse my free-spirited husband in the least. My first clue was he began referring to me as "The Wells Fargo Führer" and "The Bank Nazi." I actually can't blame him-- I've always paid the bills, so he really had no idea what our lifestyle cost us monthly. But now, Dave has taught us to become a team-- the free spirit and the nerd must UNITE, agree, and promise to stick to THE PLAN. We have begun to do the bills together, and I am happy to say that I think the lightbulb is coming on for my free-spirited hubby. Not to say that he's going to turn into a nerd-- he's not-- but he is definitely getting better control of his wants (and realizing they aren't needs) and being more successful at delaying the instant gratification that I think most Americans have become accustomed to. As Americans, we buy what we want and worry about how we're going to pay for it later. You can't live like that if you want to be successful financially. These are all lessons that we are slowly learning and implementing into our everyday life. It's not an easy process and it doesn't happen overnight-- Dave promises you that. But, just as with anything worth doing, if you keep trying, you don't give up, and you COMMIT-- it WILL happen.
Dave Ramsey has seven "baby steps" to financial freedom:

• 1. Have $1000 in an emergency fund (and it's for EMERGENCIES-- pizza is NOT an emergency!!)
• 2. Pay off all debt (excluding your house)
• 3. Have 3-6 months of expenses in savings
• 4. Invest 15% of income for retirement
• 5. College funding 
• 6. Pay off your home early 
• 7. Build your wealth and give! 

Following the baby steps helps one to not feel overwhelmed so that they can be successful in their financial life. I love that Dave uses the Scripture to get many of his points across. The Bible speaks often of things that we can contribute to our financial lives. Joseph interpreting the Pharoah's dream, the Proverbs that speak to us of the behaviors of fools and the wise, that hard works are rewarded. Scripture reminds us that a man and his wife are one and should act as so, and that if we carry His commandments in our hearts, then we shall never be led astray; among many other pieces of Scripture that help to shape our lives not only financially, but also emotionally, and within our marriage, and so many other ways. I feel that using our faith helps to strengthen our finances, and using our finances wisely helps to strengthen our faith. It's a win-win situation for us. I was so very fortunate that my parents taught me good financial practices early in life, which Dave highly recommends. Of course, as a teenager and young adult, I had some stumbles (and a few cut up credit cards), but the lessons I learned from that helped to shape the person I am today, and I've been financially responsible for at least the past fifteen years. I understand the repercussions and the benefits of being financially wise. I was proud to know that even without knowing Dave, my parents followed many of his suggestions for teaching your children about money. I feel that is SO very important, and teaching my child about money and finance is my job as a good parent. If not me, who? I don't want Visa and Chase Bank teaching her, that's for sure. If I don't have a plan for teaching her about money, Visa will DEFINITELY have a plan, and at 22% interest at that. If not now, when? It's not the job of her teacher, school, or future spouse-- it's my job. I will do anything to save my children heartache down the road, and money can definitely cause more heartache than it's worth if not taught. I'm glad to know even more than before now, so that our child can grow to be a finance whiz, and never have to worry about some of the things that young adults today worry about because of financial mis-steps. There is even a Financial Peace Junior for kids! Dave teaches the giving, saving, and spending steps from a young age. Here's a great way to start out your children Dave Ramsey style:

I'm excited to one day implement this into our little girl's life, so that from a young age she can know the joy of giving, the security of saving, and the fun of spending in the right ways. These three things are all essential to a healthy life. Thank you, Dave Ramsey, for showing us the way!

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